


Two for the price of one

by drelfina



Series: Kimono and Diamonds [4]
Category: Naruto, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Founders Era, Gaijin is Gaijin in Japan, Gen, M/M, Nominally a cross over, Oden - Freeform, Poor OCs who have to deal with the Gaijin tracking mud (and... other things), Poor poor OCs who have to deal with the Uchiha, Wtf is that huge ass forest in the outskirts of tokyo?????, does this really happen? what is with the big red gate? Help, i love daikon oden, mostly a Naruto fic, not really MCU sorry!, outsider pov, you don't have to know anything about MCU tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 01:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drelfina/pseuds/drelfina
Summary: Clint ended up in Tokyo after a.... trip.... gone bad.So of course he went sightseeing.That's what 'hitchhikers' do.Right?
Series: Kimono and Diamonds [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1590655
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	1. 7-11

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evocates](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evocates/gifts).



> This might make no sense to anyone but me and Evocates. LOLOLOLOLOLOL SORRY NOT SORRY. I'll explain in .... somewhere. Later. :D 
> 
> If anyone asks anyway.

Clint hadn't QUITE expected to end up in Tokyo, Japan, when a... one of his trips had gone... wrong, and he had forty-eight hours to kill and he wasn't going to sit in the airport. 

So he'd gone into town (after some... time, his spoken Japanese was abysmal, and his reading was _worse_ so he was grateful he hadn't ended up in Osaka or Korea) and went walking around. 

Look, he was already dressed like some sort of hitchhiker, and wandering around with a giant backpack was perfectly reasonable even in the middle of suburban Japan. 

Probably. 

Clint paused. Looked back. 

Behind him was what had to be a lot of two-storey houses, winding roads barely wide enough for two cars (did trucks even fit? God knew), the occasional dotting of slightly taller buildings, which he assumed was for things like schools and maybe administration buildings of some sort. 

Looked like what Suburban Japan was supposed to look like, outside of the densely populated city centre. 

He faced front again. 

The buildings suddenly disappeared, just green on either side of the road, and ... 

Did Japanese cities drop off like that, he wondered. 

Maybe they did. 

There was a lot of mountain in Japan, he knew from his readings. So he.... might as well go take a look right? 

Right? 

Half an hour later it was like Tokyo didn't fucking _exist_ ; instead it was just forest, and this path winding up into on a gentle incline. 

If it weren't for the fact that the road was well maintained and there were lamps all along, he'd have thought he was basically in the wilderness. 

And also this red gate thing suddenly looming out of nowhere. 

Um. 

Something told him he was on forbidden territory of some sort. Religious property or _private_ property. 

Better retreat.

* * *

Two hours later, Clint had washed up in what CLAIMED was a 7-11 but was basically the world's smallest, yet intensely well-stocked and remarkably clean minimart he'd ever seen. Like, just _look_ at the things here - packaged food he might have expected, but he sure as hell didn't expect fresh carrots and packs of disposable underwear. Even _undershirts_ and _onions_. Oh hey they even had something like mentaiko wasabi chips. Whatever mentaiko was. 

As soon as he'd walked in the place was already smelling like _really_ good soup. At least this place had English signs - proclaiming that the … pot? On the side? Was holding something called Oden. 

He didn't know what oden was, but he'd go and buy something like potato chips or something then try this oden thing…. 

The door opened, the doorbell chimed, and the shop assistant turned to greet the newcomer - 

And Clint blinked because the … guy? Girl? Who came in? 

The _person_ who came in was wearing a dark navy long sleeved… robe. Robe - right, Kimono ? Right? 

Belted around the waist, and with long thick black wavy hair PAST the waist, the kimono all - … he was pretty sure it wasn't dyed. Might be PAINTED, it didn't shimmer like embroidery, what the hell. 

"Welcome Uchiha-sama!" 

Or at least, Clint thought that was what the shop assistant said. His japanese was absolute shit after all, and it seemed like they said something even longer than when Clint had entered, and … 

The person nodded, walking up and Clint had Good Eyesight, he did, and noted the guy's adam apple so yeah he was a man but...

He hadn't thought such incredibly _pretty_ men existed? Almost perfectly symmetrical features, large dark eyes, high almost aristocratic cheekbones that he was pretty sure wasn't using contouring for. Looked like he walked straight out of some J-pop idol photoshoot. Wasn't this an anime-only thing? The man didn't even say anything, just folded his arms into his long-ass sleeves and the shop assistant was hurrying to pull out mouth-wateringly GOOD smelling food from the pot, pouring it into take-away box. Not even placing an order - the shop assistant just seemed to _know_ what Kimono-man wanted. 

(Wasn't kimono a woman thing? Especially with the big ass long sleeves. Also if Clint even _thought_ 'geisha' at this guy, he had a feeling he'd get stabbed in the throat.) 

And then bowing deeply when he handed the box to the kimono-man, and every line of his shoulders said tension and inner flailing, which made Clint wonder just who the FUCK this dude was. 

Certainly Clint didn't get as deep a bow or even half as sincere a smile when HE paid for his bag of chips. 

He did lean out the door to see Kimono-man carry his box of oden in the incongruous 7-11 plastic bag out to a sleek black car that _screamed_ money (or… mafia?), and the door opened. His sharp eyes caught a flash of silver, as someone inside shifted away from the door before kimono-man got in. 

Huh, Clint thought. He didn't think yakuza bosses came to 7-11. But then they still were people. 

His phone beeped. _Extraction Haneda Airport. ETA 1600_.

Which was …. Less than two hours away. Clint took a deep breath and shoved a handful of chips into his mouth. Great, time to get to Haneda with his shitty Japanese. That was going to be _fun_.

* * *

"Where's the daikon?" Tobirama said, opening the box that Madara handed to him as the man slid into the seat next to him. 

"I don't like daikon," Madara said. "If you want daikon, you can go order it yourself." 

"Hmph," Tobirama said. Then ate Madara's favourite chikuwa. 

"Hey!"


	2. OMAKE: oden

Izuna raised an eyebrow when he stepped into the konbini. ONe of the shop-assistants had been stocking bottled drinks in the chiller, and had turned when the bell chimed. 

"Welcome," she said, paused, and took him in. 

It was a very _short_ pause, of course, but Izuna noted the little widening of her eyes as she noted what Izuna was wearing, precisely. 

Izuna gave her a bland smile, the kind that he had for photoshoots, and went over to the sign for the Oden. 

He ignored the shop assistant scuttling backwards, and definitely ignored her staring at him. 

The other assistant at the counter looked like a deer in headlights.

Izuna leaned in, peering at the sign of the oden. 

It just said _oden_. 

He huffed. "My idiot brother," he said, smiling a little as the assistant startled badly, "is _extremely_ picky about his food. I can _not_ believe he's making me come here to pick it up and he didn't even tell me what he usually orders so can you just…" 

Izuna gestured vaguely. "If you can be so kind, just throw whatever it is he keeps getting into one of those adorable boxes you have, please." 

"A-ah, of course! At once, Uchiha-sama!" 

Izuna nodded, and watched as the assistant hurriedly started pulling an assortment of oden into the box, and Izuna hummed, turning to look at the glass case of what they proclaimed was katsu, fried chicken, and a hot dog.

Fascinating. He reached out to poke the glass case, and it was _hot_. 

"Aah, Uchiha-sama, careful it's hot!" 

"Oh, it's alright," Izuna said, waving his other hand as he stuck his finger briefly into his mouth. Hmm. interesting. "I think I want one of these." 

"Aah? Which one, Uchiha-sama?" 

"The case." 

"Uh…" 

Izuna waved his start of an apology off. "No, I'll talk to my assistant about it, of course. But give me one of those fried things." 

Maybe he could dump half of it into Madara's oden box. See how idiot Niisan likes it for ordering Izuna to go and fetch him food from some out of the way konbini (And it had to be _that_ Konbini, Izuna! THAT ONE ONLY) when he could just ask the cooks for oden! 

"Here you go, Uchiha-sama! Thank you for coming!" 

The shop assistant handed him the box, a piece of the fried chicken in a little paper bag, and a wad of paper napkins. "It's.. Hot, Uchiha-sama. Please be careful!" 

"Of course, thank you for indulging my -" stupid, "- brother." 

He smiled and then walked back out, careful not to pay attention to the scuffle of feet as the other shop assistant zoomed right back to the counter. 

Hikaku was probably going to show up with a print out of a photo of Izuna in a konbini and a Very Stern Look. 

He could totally blame Madara for this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I amuse myself Greatly. 
> 
> :D


End file.
